If you’re anything like me, the majority of your close friends these days are online and don’t live nearby. Long-distance friends are great for engaging with fun group chats or Slack messages throughout the day, but less so when you’d love to go out with a friend to try a new restaurant or see a movie and experience something in the world.
Recently, kel (@imnoloon) asked for advice on how to do things by yourself in a now-viral post on Twitter (now known as X). They said, “i want advice from people that aren’t afraid to go out by themselves like i want to start going places alone … please tell me how you do it if you do.” These 19 tips from real-life people will have you actually enjoying taking a little time for yourself:
1.
Many commenters said they liked to bring headphones or a journal. “Take headphones with you at a cafe or a journal so you can write down what you’re feeling!”
2.
Another suggested books as a way to keep entertained. “Cafes – I bring a book. Bookstores – there are books!!!! Restaurants – I also bring a book, and sit at the bar, inevitably someone tries to have a conversation there.”
3.
Others made the point that people really aren’t likely to notice you; they’re doing their own thing. “I used to think going places alone meant everyone was staring. Turns out they’re all in their own heads.”
4.
“i recommend starting by going to the movie theatre solo then maybe go to plays on your own. these are dark places where people are focusing on something else, which makes it easier to internalize that… people aren’t focusing on you.”
5.
“…you’re just going to have to force yourself to go. Just think of all the things you’ll miss out on if you stay within your comfort zone,” encouraged another.
6.
“Try to enjoy your own company and the experience!”
7.
“Pretend you’re in a video game.”
8.
And one commenter asked, “Solo is the new relationship cos if you dont date yourself, who will?”
9.
“Just realize that literally no one there gives a rip about you … They are busy living their own lives.”
10.
“Make goals for yourself … It’s harder to get anxious when you’re focused on an objective.”
11.
“Just remind yourself that because you’re alone you can just go home at any time…”
12.
“divest from the grade school notion that being alone in social spaces is sad, dorky and pathetic,” another commenter suggested.
13.
“Sit and just watch the world move around you. you’ll start to notice something beautiful in that nobody is really watching you; they’re lost in their own stories, just like you are in yours.”
14.
“Everyone’s too distracted by their own lives, their own anxieties, their own screens. You’re just another background character in their story. The moment you realize that, the easier it gets.”
15.
“literally the only thing any of us can do with our short specks of life is move through the world and experience it. you aren’t going to sit on your deathbed and wonder how you were perceived.”
16.
Another commenter hilariously added, “When I was in my mothers womb I would dine by myself … Table for 1 please.”
18.
“the one thing that made a difference was to start caring more about how i treated others and how i made them feel than what they were thinking about me.”
19.
And finally, “You and everyone you know won’t be here in 100 years (or less). Go do what you want.”
Are you a person who enjoys doing activities solo? If so, do you have tips you’d like to share? Or if you prefer not to be alone, do these tips make you feel more confident about trying something by yourself? Let us know in the comments.
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