
7.
“This might seem odd, but three weeks into working with her, at 30 years old, this therapist looked right at me and asked, ‘Do you see yourself as a person?’ My brain broke at that moment. I felt like my understanding of myself shattered, and suddenly, everything made so much sense. You see, my whole life, my family treated me as a prop, an accessory, a program, an extension of themselves — anything but a whole, actual human. So, I never saw myself as one. Any courtesy, kindness, or grace I would extend to others I didn’t deserve because I wasn’t a person.”
“Since then, I have tried to ask myself some very pointed questions when I’m mean to myself.
1. If someone else in the EXACT same situation told you about it, would you tell them they’re overreacting?
2. If you saw someone else who looked EXACTLY like you wear that, would you think the same mean things about them that you’re saying to yourself?
3. What would you say to someone else in the EXACT same situation?
It’s still a long road, and it didn’t ‘fix’ me, but it gave me a LOT of perspective and started me on a healing journey I never knew I needed.”
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