
10.
“Every Thursday evening was ‘fancy dinner’ during which there were so many more rules than dinner the rest of the week. For the rest of the week, the rules were just not to be messy and not to be rude. But fancy dinner meant dressing nicely, no swearing, sitting up straight, only talking about polite subjects, elbows off the table, etc. I was confused as to why we mostly had casual dinners, but my parents insisted on fancy dinners even when we didn’t have company.”
“Now, as an adult, I know what they were doing. They wanted us to have upward class mobility. They were making us practice our manners so we could make a good impression on fancy people when needed.
I was grateful for it when I sat down for an academic awards dinner with some of my college professors. I was able to talk easily and feel good because I recognized a fancy dinner when I saw one. Like a sleeper agent who just heard my code word, I knew exactly what to do.”
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